The beauty of a 'local'...
...why friendly faces at a local shop/cafe/bakery will always be the thing I seek.
I am a through and through introvert. I generally have very little energy for socialising and have to be quite planned about spacing out social events in my calendar. However, there a moments like last weekend where I get a burst of social energy. I want to do something, see people.
The problem is, no one really does ‘last minute catch-ups’ in a city like London. Everyone is coming, going or booked up 4-6 weeks in advance (no shade though, I have also been guilty of this!). Sometimes the occurrence of such a social energy burst is ill-timed and mis-matched with availability of others, outside of my partner and my cat.
These are the times when knowing your local businesses/owners well, pays dividends for me. Having somewhere I can go, have a chat, and not be treated like a complete stranger, whilst equally being able to leave as soon as I want to or need to. After all, social energy bursts are finite.
These moments of unplanned connection out in the world, are not new to me. A good friend of mine, became a good friend because I used to frequent the clothes store she owned, over and over. I loved nothing more than popping in after school and chatting to her and her customers. There’s also a local cafe in the same place where I grew up, in Melbourne, Australia, that I can still go into and feel a welcoming embrace.
Equally, there was a coffee shop I absolutely adored in the first area I lived in, in London. I would visit every day (coffee is essential to life!), and during lonely/stressful COVID lockdowns, the employees and owner became second family. More recently, in a newer part of London (to me), my go-to ‘local’ places include a bakery, a pasta restaurant and a bookstore I adore.
Frequenting the same places over and over not only helps to forge these meaningful, everyday connections, but also personally allows me to get used to places gradually (the space, smells and sounds), until they feel almost as predictable and comforting as a second or third home. Sometimes I will even find a favourite spot or seat, that if available, will always be my go-to. In fact, it has not been uncommon for staff to recall my standing order. Being referenced to as a ‘regular’, the ultimate compliment.
If I am wanting to be out in the world but equally feel that navigating somewhere new, solo, might be overwhelming (will it be loud, busy? Will I get lost on the commute or feel awkward?), then visiting a place I know well feels a million times more appealing.
In fact, it is very often joyful.
Even if I mostly sit quietly with my book and a coffee/drink, knowing I’m in a place I know, and watching interactions between staff and customers (I’m a prized people watcher haha) leaves me feeling a part of something bigger. It fills up my ‘social cup’.
I’ve realised these connections and interactions with the same places, spaces and people are everything, and I have been consciously reminding myself of this recently. It can be easy to forget in big city in London, a strong air of individualism and a coldness can so easily wash over you (and I get why, it can be a hardddd city to thrive in).
These subtle nods to the building of community and familiar routines can be son stabilising, particularly when moving to new places with limited friends or perhaps no family nearby. The ability to seek out spontaneous, reassuring social connection amongst the every day, as/when capacity allows . A vital requirement, actually, if you like me spend a lot of time working from home, solo, or find organised group social activities or hobbies a little daunting or hard to fully commit to, at times.
Heck, even going to the theatre solo and sitting in the dark with actual strangers feels like a socially uplifting experience for this introvert. Providing no one talks throughout or violently rustles a crisp packet within ears distance.
I guess, for many Brits, the local pub has probably served as exactly this kind of informal social meeting space (for many it still does). Somewhere you can go alone, yet the chances of meeting a friendly face or the bar person knowing your order, are high. For Australians, it might have historically been the local bowls club, a social at the RSL/community hall or a local sporting ground.
As I prepare to move to a different city, a different country, again, later this year, I am once again grateful for the reminder of how much these everyday encounters and connections add to my life. Allowing me to socialise and be out in the world, often irrespective of how much time I have allocated, embedded into a routine, and often without spending a whole lot of money. I am already contemplating and imagining which people and places will become the new ‘locals’.
So, I want to know. Who or where are your ‘locals? Are you a repeat visitor of places, a creature of habit like me? Or are you more of a ‘tried that, what’s next’ kind of person, preferring to seek out newness and novelty?
Let me know in the comments, below.
P.S. thank you to YOU, the readers of BTF for popping in to read and share what I write. Thanks for sticking with me too, during this slightly topsy turvy year, where my posting schedule may be a little unpredictable because LIFE.
Until next time,
Camilla x